Great writing, surely is beautiful -
Few, and radical exceptions -
"orders of that which was formerly a fungus." - Greenskin are still fungi, they're growth is reliant on it.
"the Army of Ebonlore." - I think the "Banner of Ebonlore" may be more commonplace. Of-course the whole meaning of "Banner" has been deteriorated by Mythic by inter-meshing races and what not.
Other than that, really hot. Keep at it~
---- Let us keep in mind that Axem is undeniably a War-Boss...
His size should be noted.